Monday, February 13, 2012

SEE

In 2008, Steven Curtis Chapman's daughter, Maria, was killed in a tragic accident outside of their home. A friend recently shared a link for me to check out SCC's CD entitled "Beauty Will Rise," which he wrote after his terrible loss. Each song is an expression of his grief, aching, longing, and ultimately hope that I found to be very powerful and comforting. Over the past 4+ years I have found that as much as others who love me were willing to share my pain that there were limitations to what they could offer. I am at peace about that. And yet when I heard these songs, I was grateful to have some connection to someone who I felt could understand at least a part of it from his own personal experience, though our stories differ in many significant ways.

At times desperate, lonely, angry, disoriented, questioning, confused, and depressed, by God's grace and power I am no longer enslaved by these. Though I may still fall into these emotions from time to time, they have no lasting power over me as I am learning to trust and truly hope in God's promises - namely to be with me (Emmanuel) all of my days and the coming Kingdom of Heaven. Next month will mark 20 years since I accepted Jesus into my heart. It took almost 16 before I really longed for either of those promises. Now, I can't imagine living without faith in the only One who can make them. Hope makes a difference.

Here are a couple of links to SCC's songs that especially moved me and a link to his website.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-25KlfLJOFg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmNiTtbM6hM
http://stevencurtischapman.com/music/beauty-will-rise

God bless you,
Mark

PS Lucas is now 8. He's doing great!

5 comments:

Traveller said...

oh yes! I have wept along with that album. Glad you found that--someone who can identify some...

Another album to grieve to is Bebo Norman's Ocean. Especially the songs "remember us" "God of my everything".

You don't know me...don't know how I found your blog...but I've popped in now and again to read, to lift up you and your son.

Peace to you!

mamatree said...

Hi Mark! Glad to see you're writing again. Reading the Chapman's book- Choosing to see = was very healing for me on so many levels.

It is beautiful to know that Lucas is doing well. Thank you for the update.

Anonymous said...

Mark,

I was randomly googling high school buddies today and found this. The last I heard about you was from Leo at his wedding. Apparently, all three of us got married within a month of each other. Well, I think for the amount of time we spent together, we hardly knew each other. It's okay, after high school I just wanted to leave it all behind, including myself... start over. I meandered a lot, was severely depressed, and tried to figure out who I was. On the other hand, you did exactly what you intended and created such a rich life for yourself. I want to say I admire your fortitude and courage. I want to say I'm thinking of you, and that today, this old high school buddy is mourning for your loss and grief. I admire you for choosing life, and openness, and Light. Good for you, man.

-ikk

p.s. Just in case, it's my full name @gmail.com ;)

Anna Kristianne said...

Dear Mark,

I always think of you and Lucas. You two are in my prayers.

Your faith in Christ encourages me greatly in my personal walk with Him.

I am always so sorry that I couldn't be there for you and Lucas.

Thank you for sharing the songs.

Much love and prayers,

Anna

Catherine said...

I still pray for you and Lucas, as I have almost from beginning days since Erika Haub wrote about you on her blog, and I am so happy for this beautiful update. Thank you for letting us know.