Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Midi's Encouragement

I came across a card that Midi wrote to me back in January 2007 when we were struggling with a lot of chaos in our lives. As I have been struggling so badly this year, her words offered some encouragement to keep praying and asking my loving Father for help. Here is some of what she wrote after first quoting a poem/prayer by Amy Carmichael.

"Before the winds that blow do cease,
Teach me to dwell within Thy calm:
Before the pain has passed, in peace,
Give me, my God, to sing a psalm.
Let me not lose the chance to prove
The fullness of enabling love.
O love of God, do this for me:
Maintain a constant victory.

I came across this poem by Amy Carmichael today and it seemed like a good prayer for us for these times. I love you. I hope you are able to find peace in God today... peace that comes from something stronger than the shifting ways of this world and the flighty words of man. Be strong and remember who the enemy is... he is not after our money; he wants our souls. Put your faith and hope in our good Father today, my love."

Her faith encourages me in my darkest hour - even as I have not seen or touched her in almost two and a half years. Oh, how I miss her.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Walk On

Lately, I've been seeking solace in music and, I suppose, finding some measure of comfort (though not much) in knowing that others are familiar with suffering and longing and the fight to remain hopeful. This U2 song used to be one of my favorites. The music itself is ringing with optimism and encouragement. It's almost as if the music itself is saying to the mourning listener, "C'mon. I'll help you get up. Let's go!" But now after my life got flipped over, I listen to it and my heart responds by saying, "I can't. Not right now. Bono, you say that you know it aches and how my heart breaks. But you can't know. No one does. I am alone." Now, I have a hard time listening to this song, even though I still love it. It is too challenging. Maybe I can't walk right now. Maybe I need to be carried for a while.

"And love is not the easy thing
The only baggage that you can bring...
And love is not the easy thing...
The only baggage you can bring
Is all that you can't leave behind

And if the darkness is to keep us apart
And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off
And if your glass heart should crack
And for a second you turn back
Oh no, be strong

Walk on, walk on
What you got they can't steal it
No they can't even feel it
Walk on, walk on...
Stay safe tonight

You're packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been
A place that has to be believed to be seen
You could have flown away
A singing bird in an open cage
Who will only fly, only fly for freedom

Walk on, walk on
What you've got they can't deny it
Can't sell it, or buy it
Walk on, walk on
Stay safe tonight

And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on

Home... hard to know what it is if you've never had one
Home... I can't say where it is but I know I'm going home
That's where the heart is

and I know it aches
How your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on

Leave it behind
You got to leave it behind
All that you fashion
All that you make
All that you build
All that you break
All that you measure
All that you feel
All this you can leave behind
All that you reason
All that you sense
All that you speak
All you dress-up
All that you scheme..."

I can only take so much.